Irrsinn.net: taking joy in human unreason

On Life and Love tag, page 2

Convalescing with Movies

I managed to get sick this weekend, meaning I watched entirely too many movies… including some lousy movies. First, the good, though:

Welcome to Sajjanpur

I’m not at all sure why they bothered with the frame story of Mahadev being a novelist–it weakened the message of the story, especially given the true fates of some of the characters. That said, some supplementary research taught me about hijra in India–called eunuchs on IMDB, but not specifically labeled in the movie.

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The Wedding

I’ve had a month to reflect and absorb. Surely I can put words to this wedding business now, right?

First, go watch the video/slideshow. I punched Picasa repeatedly to make that thing happen (Google’s getting feedback on that mess, hmph!), and I like to think it demonstrates the tone of the wedding. A recording of at least the ceremony is forthcoming, but I gotta figure out how to get it from the cool lady who showed up with a camera.

I spent almost a year considering getting married, a few months being really stressed about the planning we weren’t doing “quickly enough”, about three weeks in “whatever, let’s wrap this up” mode, and the final week in increasing panic.

The day after? Still a mess.

On Sunday, after the wedding, every time I thought about the wedding–what we said, the dancing, the people, the dress, the cake–I choked up. No lie.

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2011 Gardening: Some Stall, Some Progress

Let’s go ahead and get the bad out of the way:

Stalls

I put several of the two-leaf seedlings outside for a day or two, thinking that sun is awesome. Tomatoes want “full sun”, right?

…Sun isn’t awesome.

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Changing Greg’s Last Name: Easy-Peasy

Me: Do you know if it’s possible for my husband to get his name changed here [at the Social Security Administration] like I’m getting mine changed.
Officer: He’s changing his name?
Me: Yes, he’s changing his name. We’ve heard he might need to go through the county clerk–do you think it can just be handled here? We have the marriage certificate.
Officer: Wait. What–what’s he changing it to?
Me: *eye roll* The same as mine. Hyphenated.
Officer: He’s… What? Wow.
Greg: Yes, I’m changing my name.
Officer: *incredulous laugh* Well, I just don’t know… You’ll probably have to go through the courts–look, I don’t know, just go ask back there and see!

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Beautiful Friends

Two Beautiful People

Andrea and Aundris (Lil Man), visiting and helping for the wedding.

I was sitting last night, watching Andrea play with–then struggle with–Aundris, and I realized that they are beautiful. Everyone (myself included) has had so much to say about these two people and their lives and who’s in it and who’s not, but they are beautiful and they are people.

Why haven’t we respected their sovereignty?

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Recent Posts

May 13th 2013
Tags: On Life and Love, 2 Comments

I’m Going to Iceland!

My passport has arrived. My Amazon cruise fell through due to concerns of sketchiness. Where was I going to go for my first trip out of the country?

My colleague has picked a marathon… in Iceland. I need no such excuse–I’m just going to Iceland because it’s Iceland.

End of August, five nights, right before DragonCon. Lagoon and coastal tours are already planned, and restaurants are being picked.

I can’t even read the street names on the maps of Reykjavik. This is going to be awesome!

APW 2013: (Mental) Ableism

(This is fourth in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

Now for a downside of my APW 2013 experience: ableism.

I didn’t perceive very much physical ableism except for an awkward-as-hell “lame” reference in the closing ceremonies. I don’t think anyone even laughed. Then again, I know I’m also less sensitive to physical ableism than mental, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more.

For the mental ableism… it was everywhere. Therapists there used the word “crazy” and people talked about their “crazy, bipolar” exes. One person even said their ex was so crazy “they shouldn’t have been allowed to date.”

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APW 2013: Codependency and Identity

(This is third in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

I was utterly delighted at how many panels and discussions touched on questions of identity and codependence. I mean “identity” here as a self-discovery and self-listening process, rather than the external application of labels.

I’m early yet in my own exploration of codependence and the unhealthy behaviors I’ve harbored for many years. One of the things I’m focusing on is (re)discovering my own life patterns and identity. It’s a large component in why I moved into my own apartment.

When I saw a 5-7 adult family (with kids!) at APW, my first thought was, “Holy fuck, how do they stay themselves?”

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APW 2013: Degendering

(This is second in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

Puck: Hi, I’m Puck.
Me: I’m Melissa.
Puck: What’s your preferred pronoun?
Me: Um? “She.”
Puck: Mine’s “they.”

I’ve never been asked my preferred pronoun before.

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APW 2013: Opening Ceremonies

Jackie and my APW 2013 Badge

Jackie wished she could have gone. She’s poly, too: she loves everybody.

APW–or “Ay Pee Dub”, as the kids say1–is Atlanta Poly Weekend (SFW), and I went to it for $50 and half a hotel room.

Holy. Shit.

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Pleasant Mobile App: Guidebook

I’m going to a conference this weekend, so I’ve been preplanning all my time slots (double- and triple-booked, of course, as I do). My last conference was DragonCon, and it used a DragonCon-branded mobile app that was built using Core-Apps’ EventLink and FollowMe platforms. It really struggled to keep up with the heft of DragonCon–every load of or task-switch to the app checked the servers for event info and friends’ statuses, I don’t think Twitter postings worked, and the app crashed pretty frequently on my iPhone 4, particularly when network conditions were bad.

I really, really hope DragonCon switches to Guidebook this year.

The conference this weekend is much smaller than DragonCon, but Guidebook is already a much smoother experience just for preplanning. The UI is clean and unbranded by the con itself, I can have multiple cons (or museums, or schools, or associations) in my guidebook without having to have separate apps for each. It’s quick and easy to see my personal schedule, and the app is fast and feels lightweight.

I want to see more apps this cleanly designed.

Choosing the Unconventional Path

Last year, Greg and I expanded the boundaries of our relationship pretty drastically. It went really badly, but has resulted in an immense amount of growth for me: I’ve never been so independent within this relationship, so free to say “no” and feel my feelings without justifying or suppressing them.

And here you all probably thought I was kick-ass assertive 24/7.

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