Last year, Greg and I expanded the boundaries of our relationship pretty drastically. It went really badly, but has resulted in an immense amount of growth for me: I’ve never been so independent within this relationship, so free to say “no” and feel my feelings without justifying or suppressing them.

And here you all probably thought I was kick-ass assertive 24/7.

Keep reading >>

I’ve been struggling for a while to quantify something I’m taking issue with lately, and I finally think I hit the nail on the head.

Imagine, if you will, that you work with someone in a standard American corporate environment. Let’s call her Jane. (Jane’s a good, strong name. Speaks to her background.)

Now, you totally get that Jane’s probably a good person outside your work environment (yeah, sure), but at work, she’s a total loser. Can’t do her job, whines all the time, and really just gets in the way of progress. You’re there to get a job done, and Jane’s clearly just killing time and collecting a paycheck.

She’s absolutely worthless, and then has the gall to dislike you for being good at your job. Not your fault she sucks and you had to fix her mistakes.

I’ve seen this scenario played out a hundred different ways, and am not immune to it myself. Keep reading >>

Okay, not “already”. 2011 was long as hell and busy.

I resumed going to church fairly regularly. Had my perspective on interpersonal communications majorly shifted. Got married to a great fellow. Got a running partner. Made good progress on my novel. Learned how to incorporate a business. Paid off my student loans (!!!). Lost some weight. Got stronger, more fit, and resumed dancing. Made and held to some good financial plans. Blogged pretty regularly.

Still feel like I only did about half of what I “should have”, of course, but I’m happy with the year, overall. I succeeded at most of what I wanted,

I’m going to finish my last sliver of debt. I’m going to finish not having a long-term financial plan. I’m going to get married. I’m going to finish my novel. I’m going to finish not being happy enough,

and made good headway on what I didn’t finish.

Regardless, 2012 shall be a more adventurous year, featuring new employment, two trips/vacations, and a plethora of writing, coding, financial management, and gettin’ fizzit.

Keep reading >>

One-on-ones. Damn, how do they work?

(I swear, that video has provided me with endless amusement.)

Go read or re-read the earlier post. Shoo.

Several things make one-on-ones rather different here at Big Corp than they were at Skookum:

I’m a contractor

The “long-term view” is ultimately a question of “How long do we need you?” and “Will I stay that long?” It’s all very amicable and such, but I don’t get things like: company-paid conferences, to attend internal bigwig visits, paid lunches, to meet my boss’s boss, or much internal mobility beyond what I carve out for myself. (Big Corp is very paranoid about contractors thinking they’re employees.)

Instead, there’s a short- to mid-term view that focuses on workflow, project timelines, and resource management. Many of the hands-on folks in my area are contractors, and there are relatively few of us remaining, so any comings and goings are big news.

More manager involvement in projects

My new manager isn’t a producer¹ or project manager, per se, but does run the occasional project and is a head honcho on the public site. That puts him in a spot where he can directly influence my work by talking with the relevant producer. Not that I’d be uncomfortable talking to most of them, unless there’s a real mess in the making that someone with seniority needs to handle.

Less structure

Keep reading >>

I know an increasing number of folks now who are either unemployed or self-employed, and I find that as envious as I am of their ability to make excellent use of their time, I have to actively work to avoid being burned by their lack of sense of time.

Or self-burning:

Me: Hey, So-and-So, did you hear back about that project proposal you submitted a while back?
So-and-So: No. Maybe I should check on that.
Me: Oh. It’s been, like, months.
So-and-So: Yeah… It’d be nice to get that project.
Me: Like… someday?

Keep reading >>