Irrsinn.net: taking joy in human unreason

The Physical Matters tag

So Out of My Comfort Zone

One (of a thousand) things I’ve let slide in the last year of struggles is one of my most favoritest: dance.

I haven’t been to belly dance class since at least last summer, haven’t learned any new moves or choreographies, and have barely practiced on my own.

I told myself that “when everything was more under control”, that I’d go back.

Well, that “everything” got under some sort of “control”, but then recovering from that was exhausting, and then healing stuff that’s been askew in my life forever is too all over the place.

The thing is I know not to wait for life to get to back to “normal” before living it. I’m already living it, however it comes. Live it like I want it to be.

So when a buddy said, “Hey, let’s try this West African dance class,” I said, “Sure!”

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Full-on Sprain

So remember when I hurt my ankle the other Sunday? It stopped getting better and started getting worse.

Guess I shouldn’t have done those other two runs and the two yoga sessions that week.

Out of fear that I might have a small fracture situation, I went to urgent care yesterday. The initial read of the X-ray didn’t show a fracture, so we’re assuming it’s “just” a sprain at this point.

Ligaments are creepy.

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Now Mama’s Got Even Newer Shoes

The Minimuses from Thursday/Friday didn’t work out. They kept rubbing when I walked, although they were better when I ran.

I took ‘em back on Saturday, tried back on the Brooks PureDrifts, and hopped on the treadmill in the store a longer run than the jaunt I’d given them before…

And then nearly got dizzy from my own swimmy pronation.

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Mama’s Got New Shoes

Running shoes, that is.

I’ve been plagued with shin splints during my runs for the last couple of months. There weren’t many runs, sure, but I also haven’t had shin splints at all since I bought my current shoes. It was an immensely good feeling to be able to run consistently pain-free for over 200 miles.

But now I’m splinty. I’d been wanting to try minimalist running shoes (0mm – 4mm heel-to-toe drop) for the last few years–even when I bought my current conventional 12mm running shoes. I came up with all sorts of reasons why I shouldn’t (I’m overweight, I might break myself, etc.), and then let the running store guy finish talking me out of it.

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Months of 5′s, 3′s, and 1′s

I’ve been lifting via the 5/3/1 program since December 2011. In the last year, I’ve completed 8 months of lifting.

Consistent, not so much, but I was stalling enough in the last couple of months that I decided to recalculate my maxes last week.

When I started last December, I was still doing shoulder rehab (at home) thrice weekly. My shoulder hurt every day. Even trying to do an assisted pull-up would cause days’ worth of escalation of shoulder pain.

It’s hard to make a true assessment of my upper-body strength at the time, because so much is driven by the ability to strongly and painlessly rotate ones shoulders: pushups, pull-ups, rows, lifting objects higher than the waist, and raising anything overhead. Even crunches were painful–the curling motion is the exact opposite of the good posture I have to maintain to prevent the bone spur from grinding various things in my shoulder.

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So Out of My Comfort Zone

One (of a thousand) things I’ve let slide in the last year of struggles is one of my most favoritest: dance.

I haven’t been to belly dance class since at least last summer, haven’t learned any new moves or choreographies, and have barely practiced on my own.

I told myself that “when everything was more under control”, that I’d go back.

Well, that “everything” got under some sort of “control”, but then recovering from that was exhausting, and then healing stuff that’s been askew in my life forever is too all over the place.

The thing is I know not to wait for life to get to back to “normal” before living it. I’m already living it, however it comes. Live it like I want it to be.

So when a buddy said, “Hey, let’s try this West African dance class,” I said, “Sure!”

Keep reading >>

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May 13th 2013
Tags: On Life and Love, 2 Comments

I’m Going to Iceland!

My passport has arrived. My Amazon cruise fell through due to concerns of sketchiness. Where was I going to go for my first trip out of the country?

My colleague has picked a marathon… in Iceland. I need no such excuse–I’m just going to Iceland because it’s Iceland.

End of August, five nights, right before DragonCon. Lagoon and coastal tours are already planned, and restaurants are being picked.

I can’t even read the street names on the maps of Reykjavik. This is going to be awesome!

APW 2013: (Mental) Ableism

(This is fourth in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

Now for a downside of my APW 2013 experience: ableism.

I didn’t perceive very much physical ableism except for an awkward-as-hell “lame” reference in the closing ceremonies. I don’t think anyone even laughed. Then again, I know I’m also less sensitive to physical ableism than mental, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more.

For the mental ableism… it was everywhere. Therapists there used the word “crazy” and people talked about their “crazy, bipolar” exes. One person even said their ex was so crazy “they shouldn’t have been allowed to date.”

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APW 2013: Codependency and Identity

(This is third in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

I was utterly delighted at how many panels and discussions touched on questions of identity and codependence. I mean “identity” here as a self-discovery and self-listening process, rather than the external application of labels.

I’m early yet in my own exploration of codependence and the unhealthy behaviors I’ve harbored for many years. One of the things I’m focusing on is (re)discovering my own life patterns and identity. It’s a large component in why I moved into my own apartment.

When I saw a 5-7 adult family (with kids!) at APW, my first thought was, “Holy fuck, how do they stay themselves?”

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APW 2013: Degendering

(This is second in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.)

Puck: Hi, I’m Puck.
Me: I’m Melissa.
Puck: What’s your preferred pronoun?
Me: Um? “She.”
Puck: Mine’s “they.”

I’ve never been asked my preferred pronoun before.

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APW 2013: Opening Ceremonies

Jackie and my APW 2013 Badge

Jackie wished she could have gone. She’s poly, too: she loves everybody.

APW–or “Ay Pee Dub”, as the kids say1–is Atlanta Poly Weekend (SFW), and I went to it for $50 and half a hotel room.

Holy. Shit.

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Pleasant Mobile App: Guidebook

I’m going to a conference this weekend, so I’ve been preplanning all my time slots (double- and triple-booked, of course, as I do). My last conference was DragonCon, and it used a DragonCon-branded mobile app that was built using Core-Apps’ EventLink and FollowMe platforms. It really struggled to keep up with the heft of DragonCon–every load of or task-switch to the app checked the servers for event info and friends’ statuses, I don’t think Twitter postings worked, and the app crashed pretty frequently on my iPhone 4, particularly when network conditions were bad.

I really, really hope DragonCon switches to Guidebook this year.

The conference this weekend is much smaller than DragonCon, but Guidebook is already a much smoother experience just for preplanning. The UI is clean and unbranded by the con itself, I can have multiple cons (or museums, or schools, or associations) in my guidebook without having to have separate apps for each. It’s quick and easy to see my personal schedule, and the app is fast and feels lightweight.

I want to see more apps this cleanly designed.