Irrsinn.net: taking joy in human unreason

A True Haven

I’m listening to “Dream On” again, repeatedly, as I am wont to do. Work blew today, and I have to do all my homework (except a single essay) tonight. Woo-friggin’-hoo.

I work with a guy that may be the most delicious-looking teenager I have ever seen. He’s kinda a jerk, but he’s funny in a harsh sarcastic way. But it’s not at all his personality I am interested in. I love the way he walks, the bone structure of his face, and the muscularity of his body (“muscularity” is actually a word; I just looked it up). He has a pretty deep voice (for a white guy), and beautiful blue eyes. But his body, even covered in the black and purple shirt, the baggy black pants, and the ridiculous purple apron we have to wear is something to drool over. Why I have such a visceral reaction to him is beyond me. Usually once I realize a guy is a jerk, the attraction will fade to something worthy of only an occasional glance, but not this time. I consider this yet another reason to quickly look for a new job.

I think writing (or typing) about Joseph has helped me somewhat. I didn’t think about him at all today (which is rare). Maybe I can use this “haven” as more than a chronicling of events in my life. Maybe I’ll be cooler about the guy at work now.

I’m reading a book called Reckless Sleep by Roger Levy, a new author in SF. What a weird book. I read often, of course, and have read a lot of “okay” and “good” books, but rarely does a book cause me to really feel the physical reactions of the main character. I feel nausea, fatigue, and worry when Jon Sciler does, and puzzled when he does. And I’m not even reading the book in a single sitting like I usually try to do. The plot was initially very confusing, even having read the blurb on the back cover of the book, for which I knock points from Levy, but things made sense around page 94 and now I’m hooked (it took until page 200 of Fellowship of the Ring). Before i fall unconsious tonight, I’ll probably try to read a couple more pages/chapters.