Some inadequate notes about graduation

Last night, I attended the graduation of the Northwest School of the Arts in order to see a few of my friends–Micah, Ayana, and Eddie–graduate. Sonny was also present, as Junior Marshal, one of those who leads in and out the graduating seniors in spiffy little circles to try to give the ceremony a degree of pomp and circumstance, while folks in the back are hollering “oh-two!” and “oh-three!” Anyway, it was the first graduation I’ve attended and was not a part of the ceremony, as I attended Harding University High School’s (my school) last year as a Junior Marshal. It was interesting, all in all. The seniors were well-behaved; I expected someone to act goofy as they went across the stage–it is a school of the arts, including drama, after all–but I was to be disappointed. They had the “Northwest Wind Ensemble” providing music, which consisted of, unsurprisingly, primarily the brass and woodwind sections of their orchestra, with a small amount of percussion. They sounded damn good, particularly when they played a piece called “Tempered Steel”, by Charles R. Young. If not for the Rat squirming incessantly next me, I would have enjoyed it much more, concentration unbroken.

My graduation is tomorrow morning at 08:30. I am convinced that I will be only barely awake, particularly given that I must be there at 07:30, and will probably have to wake up around 05:30 just to make sure everyone else is up and moving on time. Even my father is taking time off from work to go. I’m moderately nervous; I’ve got the classic fear of tripping, or being booed, or spilling something on the gown, or anything else embarrassing. One thing I can be fairly certain of is that none of my family, except my immediate family, of course, will be there. This is a good thing. Much to my mother’s chagrin, I was selective even in what family members received invitations.

I lied. I’m really nervous about graduation. It’s like the whole thing hasn’t really set it yet, like I am incapable of comprehending what this ending and beginning will mean and does mean. The ceremony itself isn’t important to me at all, nor is the sheet of paper I will get that day, but the finality of it, that’s important. Everyone’s making promises about keeping in touch, and we’ll see each other again, and blah, blah, blah, but I know how it goes. Five years ago, I moved about 15 hours away from my home of Dallas, Texas, and I haven’t seen any of those people I missed so much since. Many of my friends are going to the same college, and that college, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, is even within the same state as their homes, what they are familiar with. They talk about how we’ll all come back and visit and all that good stuff, but I can’t see myself doing that. Taking the bus from Terre Haute to Chapel Hill or Charlotte or Raleigh would be a long ride; our guests came from Chicago on a bus and spent twenty hours in transit. Catching a ride from a fellow North Carolinian seems unlikely–traditionally, there are only about two folks from North Carolina at Rose-Hulman, sometimes fewer. The odds of me getting cozy enough with that one other person to catch a ride? Slim, but possible. The whole commencement thing just seems so… I don’t know. Final.