Oh, boy, Sonny…

This is the second time my dear Asian friend Sonny has posted something on his site that I found very thought-provoking. So instead of posting a huge comment on his page, I’m going to respond here. In my own realm.

Oh gosh how I hate asian culture. Contrary to popular belief, I DO have my reasons. I sware they are the most racist people in the world and I just CAN’T take it! They are always so GOD DAMN suspicious of white people and of black people and it just makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Look at all the people that I hang out with and call my friends – I have the most diverse group of friends imaginable. I hate this ego-tistical bullshit that runs through my parents heads. It makes no sense at all, and its just fucking INCREDIBLE to what degree they believe in such things. Why in the HELL did they come to America with such views? I don’t get it. I don’t ever care to.

Traditional Asian families are all like that, trust me, and that is why I can’t stand the culture. Their thinkings methods are far from accurate or productive, it’s just crazy. I refuse to ever marry an Asian person because of my deep-rooted disgust for my own race. I hate how asian people come to me and expect that I will befriend them because they are the “SAME” as myself. I refuse. I am more white than anything, I mean look at me! I dress in Abercrombie and Express and American Eagle, I don’t wear the ghetto asian brands and put rice stickers on my car, and I don’t even have a Honda! Is anyone getting the message?

I can’t believe under the same roof that harbors those ideals. I feel like I could cry. I think I need to.

First and foremost, don’t cry. If you do, then I’ll cry. 🙂

I think a lot of “traditional” families of any race have the same problems. And by traditional, I don’t mean Afgan-wearing blacks from Togo or let’s-bake-an-apple-pie whites. “Traditional” often means a black person from the ghetto or that is uneducated. Traditional white families can range from the “Wow, I just got a Lexus for Christmas! What am I supposed to do with the Porsche now?” to the “Gee, Mom, that’s swell“. In my own household, I don’t know how many times I have cringed at some of my mother’s comments about middle-easterners, hispanics, hell, even blacks. I often wonder if, when I tell her about some shit that happened at school with a buddy of mine, she doesn’t just chalk it up to the fact that he/she is white, or lives in a trailer, or is ghetto.

“Why in the HELL did they come to America with such views? I don’t get it. I don’t ever care to.” But it’s so interesting, my dear. Money. Well, not so much money as “financial opportunity”. In other words, money. They wanted the ability to be a little more socioeconomically mobile than you can be in Cambodia. They didn’t come here for the delicious racial mix that is the U.S. They didn’t come for the inter- and intra-racial violence, the scheming, the scamming. Hell they were already married, probably, so they certainly didn’t come here for any sort of Jungle Fever.

And don’t forget just how many people are prejudiced against Asians, mon ami. I can think of several choices phrases right off the top of my head that I have heard used pejoratively to describe Asians. That kind of thing can breed defensiveness and reverse-racism. Your parents certainly picked the right part of the U.S. to avoid all the problems I’m describing (note the sarcasm). Although I’ve heared the North is actually worse.

But also consider that in your grandparents’ houses, your parents probably had a little revolution of their own, just as our generation is, concerning clothing, or ethnicity, or dating. It may have even been relating to the decision to move to America, if it wasn’t your grandparents that made the move. I think every generation rebels a little, in some way. Although some parents would never admit to it.

Sleep well, Sonny, knowing that you are not alone.