Actually, don’t. But guess who is in my Major American Writers class next term, the class I was looking forward to quite a bit, despite my tendency to shy away from exclusively “American” topics in literature? The Thorn’s very own George Dawkins. In fact, there are too many people in that class I know. And some of them are actually somewhat literary-minded, which means my ideas (such as they are) will sound even more like shit, which means I can plan on being quiet and simply absorbing for probably most of the quarter. It’s twelfth grade English all over again. There will be those three or four people who bunt…

It crossed my mind briefly to write about my ridiculously fun evening last night with The Crazy CO Girls (and Guys), but then I realized that, out of context, it probably wouldn’t be funny. How can one portray the hilarity of random porn music outbursts during Interview with a Vampire (more appropriate in the book, given Rice’s writing style than in the toned-down movie), and the outbursts of “Armand is supposed to look like a little boy! Ahn-tonio doesn’t look like a little boy!” and “Shouldn’t that be some sort of ancient Italian accent instead of a Spanish one?” and “Anne Rice also writes S & M erotica.” … “Have…