Lately I’ve been revelling in the lives of other people, people I don’t even know. These are pages and blogs and journals linked from my friend Micah’s page. After reading about his friends’ lives (two of whom I actually know), I move on to their friends. I feel like a voyeur, but a happier one. I used to spend hours on the telephone listening to people’s problems and occasionally helping them solve them, but really just listening, and I liked that. I hang with a different crowd now, and I’m not at all confortable with them. Not like that. Their problems annoy me. But to read the blogs and journals…

I’m working on a practice French IB Paper 1, listening to “Wrong Way” by Sublime. I am now conviced that I practe crustean bed criticism when I listen to music. How can I possibly identify with these lyrics? I’ve never been a whore, nor have felt pimped by my family (except maybe regarding education by my mother) Annie’s 12 years old, in two more she’ll be a whoreNobody ever told her it’s the wrong wayDon’t be afraid with the quickness you’ll get laidFor your family get paidIt’s the wrong wayI gave her all that I had to giveI’m gonna make it hard to live(Big) salty tears running down to her…

I’m taking a brief break from “homework” (ha) to post this entry. I’m in the living room eating, and everyone else is in there (mother, father, and the rat), which is an immediate no-no. In that infinitely calm (and infuriating) voice my father has, he says, “So what’s going on with your chores lately?” He goes on to state that mother told him that I haven’t cleaned the house in weeks and never do the dishes. After I explain it all away (and apparently my mother told him that I didn’t clean house today, and he extrapolated that I haven’t done it in weeks, which is not true), I find…

I’m still listening to “Dream On”, and the question hit me: Do I have dues in life to pay? Dues because of the way I treat people, the lies I have told, my beliefs, my station in life (socioeconomically speaking), my race, etc.? Sometimes I feel like I’m nice to a person just because I feel that I should be nice to someone today. Is that a “due” because of my beliefs and feelings about people? Maybe not; I’m not sure that it’s big enough to be a due. It doesn’t take too much effort ot be nice to one person a day, does it? …Half my life’s in books’…

I’m listening to “Dream On” again, repeatedly, as I am wont to do. Work blew today, and I have to do all my homework (except a single essay) tonight. Woo-friggin’-hoo. I work with a guy that may be the most delicious-looking teenager I have ever seen. He’s kinda a jerk, but he’s funny in a harsh sarcastic way. But it’s not at all his personality I am interested in. I love the way he walks, the bone structure of his face, and the muscularity of his body (“muscularity” is actually a word; I just looked it up). He has a pretty deep voice (for a white guy), and beautiful blue…