Revisiting those 101 things…

Edit: That’d be those 101 things in 1001 days. Silly me for not linking.

This hasn’t been in progress nine-weeks of a quarter yet, but I’ve got myself back on a regular workout routine so that I’m back up to four or five days of 3- to 4-mile walks a week (#5). I’m not running yet, in part because I’m still working on keeping the calf muscles loose enough not to reintroduce the foot problem, and in part because I’m not keen on diverting the energy to do any kind of moderately serious rehab/training. I’m more concerned about my loss of lung efficiency and (shallow though it is) all the weight I’ve picked up since Thanksgiving. But I’m back on the road to good physical health.

I’ve also recently acquired a credit card (#21). It’s really for the Thorn and for emergencies, since I’m not keen on paying for Thorn shit immediately out of pocket.

Regarding #42, I’m up to eating several pieces of fruit about four or five days a week. The cafeteria keeps oranges, apples, and bananas stocked, so I usually grab an armful or two every morning at breakfast and pack them away.

More than goals that can be enumerated, though, I’ve met and matched some more internals goals that’re leaving me feeling much, much better and clearer-thinking. I hit enough of a bottom from stress and fatigue a couple of weeks ago that I’ve decided that the only way I’d like to go is up. So I’m going up. Cutting and slashing and rearranging. Well, not so much cutting and slashing, but definitely some trimming and rearranging.

But I’ve learned all about my limitations and my stress-quirks and the way I work and how to optimize that to a fine edge and how to dull that edge. I’d consider this extremely useful information to have, despite the craptacularness of acquiring that knowledge, because it’s changed quite a bit in the past four years.

Several weeks ago, I told Luke that I felt like I’d lost my peace. Like I didn’t feel comfortable or happy in my own skin and in my own mind and in my own life. Since then, slowly but surely, I’m realizing and/or reaffirming what I am and what I want and regaining the strength to just be without some need to impress everyone and their granddaddies. I may fuck up (like the take home test and the interview this week, and, of course, other things other weeks), but it’s my standards that matter, whether mine are lower than others want me to have (at work, for instance, where I recently dropped my position as editor of their newsletter) or higher (in Fundamentals, where I’d like to learn more than *mumblesomething* percent of the material, regardless of the class average).

Self-centered though it seems, it needs to be all about me in some ways where it’s not currently and definitely wasn’t previously.