I’ve only ever really been faced with dealing with the label of “abuse” about three times in my life.
I don’t mean handling the aftereffects–I live with that every day, in one fashion or another.
I mean to really sit, let the idea and label roll around in my heart and mind, and to feel what that concept means and whether or how it applies and ripples.
Don’t run from it. Don’t excuse it. Don’t justify it. Leave aside explanations of “systems”. Don’t box it up, write that label, and stuff it in the closet.
Just sit, and feel the weight of it, of both the acts and the label.