• On Life and Love

    Racism: how much of a bitch should I be?

    I’m never sure how vicious to be when I encounter racism and have the ability to put a stop to it. For instance, last night, during a game at my apartment, Tookie suggested someone break a bottle and use it as a weapon. The excited response from Gimpy Phil was, “Nigger knife!” Um, what? This shit ain’t happening in my damn house. The moment passed just quickly enough that I wasn’t sure I should go back and harp on it. I was on edge for the rest of the evening, though, ready to jump in and tell some folks to take that shit elsewhere if they said anything else like…

  • On Life and Love

    “Big chop”

    I did it. I cut off all my hair. All of it. It’s pretty butch, no lie, but honestly, I love it. It’s so easy–I couldn’t get closer to “wash ‘n’ go” without shaving bald (and that’s higher maintenance in frequency of cutting). WO did all of the cutting for me, and the poor guy winced as he cut off each plait. He was so attached to those things. By the time we got down to the clippers, though, he was good. Right now, I don’t plan to let it grow out. I’m liking it short, and I’m not much for wearing a fuller afro.

  • On Life and Love

    Moving and shaking me

    Who’s moving and shaking me? [tag]Jack McCarthy[/tag]. [tag]Rachel Kann[/tag]. [tag]Michael Guinn[/tag]. [tag]Carlos Andres Gomez[/tag]. How and where? Indiefeed: Performance Poetry (podcast). Gomez’s “Daddy’s Girl”. McCarthy’s “The Whole Chalupa”. Kann’s “Words Fail Me”. Guinn’s “Beautiful”. McCarthy’s “Cartalk: A Love Poem”, “A Modest Proposal”, “Drunks”, “Substances”, and “Cartalk II: Catholics & Carthieves”. I don’t know that I can successfully comment on each poem and how each has affected me–most floored me, some made me choke back tears, some (especially McCarthy’s) made me laugh while hitting the truth dead-on. Performance poetry is relatively new to me, and I’m hungry for more. Suggestions and links are welcome. Gomez’s “Daddy’s Girl” was the first I…

  • On Life and Love

    Am I still the same?

    As an underclassman in high school, whenever people were insulting or cruel to me, I would spend a decent amount of energy devising a perfect cutting revenge. Something short and usually based upon very personal, embarrassing/shameful details they’d told me. I’d wait until they’d forgotten about their transgression (not long, for 15-year olds), then remind them casually and right in public of their dog-fucking habits or of the collection of child rape porn they were hiding on their parents’ computer. I developed a nice style, I think. Pleasantly inquisitive, smiling all the while. I don’t do that so much any more. I never figured out why people still confided in…

  • On Life and Love

    The noise of the night.

    It’s late and I’m up all by myself, reading Christopher Golden’s The Gathering Dark. I have the living room all to myself, and I’m able to blast music (through headphones) on repeat without fear of my SO being disturbed. No singing and dancing, but I’ll settle for volume. My soundtrack for the night–as it has been for the last several days–is a set of BollyWood tracks from a podcast I’ve started listening to. The ‘cast is hosted by two folks that sound like 12-year olds with crushes on each other, but the music is amazing, and there hasn’t been a song they’ve played that I haven’t liked. I’m so restless…