Tag Archives: sex

Links On Uncomfortable Realities

A short one this week as I’m struggling to catch up on/skim 1400+ unread items in Feedly.

  • “She Must Have Deserved It”: An Uncomfortable Reality About Abuse, And Reporting It | Ferrett Steinmetz – "And the good news that emerges from this particular bad response is that most people would never hit their partner. When told, “He hit her,” most people run this information through a I-am-the-world filter…" and "[If] you’re a victim of abuse, you need to be very careful as to who you date. Children of abusing parents are fifteen times – fifteen times! – as likely to wind up married to an abuser as so-called “normal” people, which means that your abuser broke some vital instincts within you."
  • You can say no if you change your mind – Maybe this is more freeing than uncomfortable. It was an uncomfortable realization for me, though.
  • Legacy Code Preservation: How Do We Manage This? – I run into similar code and life-work preservation issues at work now. It can be quite frustrating. Common thing to hear: "No, no, no, I'm not attached to that code. It's just code. …But really, it doesn't matter very much that it doesn't meet all the new standards or is hard to work with: the damned thing works perfectly, without a hitch. Never needs maintenance."

Weekly Linkage: Harlem Shake

This is what happens when Greg asks, “What’s the Harlem Shake?”

I just about feel off the couch. Especially when I realized at about 2:40 that that’s a DVD in his belt, not a buckle.

Greg may never ask me another dancing-related question ever again.

A few other nuggets:

And one more awesome (no, really) video: Splinter Cell: Lightbulb Assassin:
Continue reading Weekly Linkage: Harlem Shake

Weekly Linkage: Planets, EDs, and Blood Donations

This past week(…s)’s internet surfin’:

James Spader’s Secretary

I just finished watching Secretary, a movie starring James Spader (of Stargate and Boston Legal fame) and Maggie Gyllenhaal (of Dark Knight fame). The movie is incredibly awkward — I spent a good bit of the movie curled up in a seat, eyes partially covered. It’s full of very broken people who don’t know how to deal with themselves or other people. It’s also about the two main characters’ sadomasochistic, D/S relationship, which is why I was watching it. Well, first because it was James Spader, and second because it featured D/S.

I’ve always been fascinated by D/S relationships; it’s a power play/exchange/relationship that I’ve always wanted to partake in, ever since I first read Elf Sternberg’s Journal Entries eight-ish years ago (wow, that makes me feel my age a bit). I always imagined I would make a good submissive.

I’ve found, however, that I might be too self-contained to truly be able to take part in a D/S relationship. From either end. I have too much sense of self to become a extension of someone else, and too much (or maybe too little) to allow someone else to append themselves to my will.

Not to mention the fact that I very rarely ever truly relax and let go.

I’ve never been sure if the fact that it doesn’t come easily means I have to work harder at it, or if I should just leave it to the naturals. Is it a skill that one can acquire, like any other? If I become good at submitting (or dominating), even in that particular context… what would that mean for me the rest of the time? I don’t think I could segment it from “the rest of me”, make it something so distinct that it wouldn’t show in some way at other times.

Then again, maybe that would be part of the fun, too.

Tastee (del.icio.us) links!

These are my links for June 15th through June 18th: