Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me… I can’t believe I’m actually doing an audio post. Even moreso, I can’t believe I wasn’t terribly nervous doing it. I need to learn how to appropriately and smoothly end these things, though. And I need to work on the audio settings, methinks. Lots of background… static, I guess, but that’s most likely just my laptop’s fan whirling, so it could be that nothing can be done.

What is it that people see in me that makes them think I am capable of more than I am currently doing? I feel like I’m being maneuvered and shifted again, and that doors are slowly sliding open to give access to things that I “shouldn’t” have yet. I am ambivalent about the situation… Or something like “ambivalent”. Excited, uncomfortable, nervous, proud, something. The problem is, I don’t see how people would consider me for bigger things when I am not handling well what I have. Hence the above question. I almost think it’s a matter of itty bitty facets of my life appearing to measure up, while I hide…

Damn Luke and his damned cryptic commentary and our damned lack of time for brain poking because of damned homework and damned sleep, but I don’t damn for him bringing into question some core/elemental things because thinking about these things is damned fun and damned fascinating, just not when I can’t bounce damn ideas off someone else because I start to run in damn circles damned quickly on these things. I’ve been playing with the idea of joining Audioblog.com. Tonight’s discussion may provide an excuse.

I’m so afraid Firefox is going to crash, I’m going to clear it out now. I finally found a good use for my gmail account–both ScienceDirect and EBSCOHost Research Database will perform automated searches periodically for you and dump the results in your inbox. Topics for research? Gender issues and self-control and certain types of genetics studies. Likewise, Google has alerts to dump news/web search results in your inbox so I can easily keep up with the latest proceedings in the Serbian Prime Minister assassination case. I like this. Since I just got my absentee ballot in the mail today, this seems appropos: It’s time everyone sat back and admitted…