Dearest Deer:

You will not have my sympathy…

…when I am falsely called into lab with a few hours’ notice.

…when I am called into lab at 08:00 on a Sunday with only two days notice to clear my schedule. I warned you about this. My schedule is not a flexible one, and I am no longer being paid to do this.

…when I arrive in lab to find you have made no attempts to prepare. Why are you sitting there looking at me like a time portal is opening behind me when your samples are still in the ‘fridge? And did you delibrately look at that clock when I came in? Hell naw.

… when I find you have not made the correct solutions to do the work. That should have been done the day I was falsely called into lab. This stuff doesn’t magically appear at the machine, waiting for you like a dollar from the Tooth Fairy when you run a kinetics experiment.

… when I find you have not attempted to secure access/keys to any of the labs you will need access to. I hope Mae filets you for calling her room at 08:20 if her roommate was still asleep.

…when I’m expected to hold your hand politely, but you can’t be bothered to remember the advice and directions I give. Thinking: it’s a useful tool for many, many people and can help you go far.

What was the sign? Was it the set look on my face when I walked in? Was it the grimace of annoyance when I asked where your samples were and you looked so confused? How about the look when I told you I’d meet you in the graduate building, but had to backtrack when you said you had no keys?

Maybe it was the fact that I didn’t ask you a single question in reply to yours about how I was doing or how I spent my evening. Yup. When The Questioner stops questioning, it’s probably a good idea to watch your back.

Making deer-in-headlights eyes at me with your gorgeous baby blues will only increase the pressure of my size-10 retired Saucony Grid Auras on your face, baby boy. I ain’t lettin’ up ’till I see tears, either.

Bet you didn’t think I could be so cold. It’s no reflection on the situation that I only had three hours of sleep, but it sure as shit isn’t helping you.

I am not your mommy, or if I am, I’m the sternest you’ll ever have. Get a clue, get organized. One more try.

Peace, love, and pineapple upside-down cake,

I need to work. And sleep. But I feel better now.

7 thoughts on “Dearest Deer:”

  1. Shh!! Luke, those others were supposed to be secret, damn you!

    Geez. You’re as bad as Dr. 7 about running your mouth. Am I the only quiet one of our group?

    (Beware how you reply to that, good Sir…)

  2. As bad as me? I seem to remember you running your mouth about

    (text deleted by Administrator)

  3. You’re a damn dirty bum, Dr. 7. I wouldn’t have put in censored text as “Administrator”. tsk, tsk.

    The only things I run my mouth about are things y’all ask me about myself. Because I’m all anti-secretive and stuff. Haha.

  4. I miss your telling people off. Tell someone else off online. If you haven’t any targets…um, look harder, people are bitches.

  5. See, here I’ve been, trying to be all nice and shit, and now folks tell me they miss me being a bitch.

    Being a bitch is time-consuming. When someone riles me up enough that I feel a desire to take time out to bitch about them at length, I shall resume writing here about it. But there are plenty of targets… Because people are bitches. 😛

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