• On Life and Love

    APW 2013: Intellectualism, Anarchy, Privilege and Power

    (This is the fifth in a way-too-long-running series on APW 2013.) I am not educated on anarchy or intentional communities. I consider this a lack in my education. (Seems like reddit may have a good starting place for me.) Dennis Fox is a psychologist from Boston who focuses on a few interesting topics: intentional communities and critical psychology. What is critical psychology, you ask? When speaking of truths, Fox said, “current psychology’s truth is in finding ways for unhappy people to adapt to the current world, rather than in changing the current world.” That really resonated with me. So many of the unhappinesses we struggle with derive from trying to…

  • On Life and Love

    APW 2013: (Mental) Ableism

    (This is fourth in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.) Now for a downside of my APW 2013 experience: ableism. I didn’t perceive very much physical ableism except for an awkward-as-hell “lame” reference in the closing ceremonies. I don’t think anyone even laughed. Then again, I know I’m also less sensitive to physical ableism than mental, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more. For the mental ableism… it was everywhere. Therapists there used the word “crazy” and people talked about their “crazy, bipolar” exes. One person even said their ex was so crazy “they shouldn’t have been allowed to date.”

  • On Life and Love

    APW 2013: Codependency and Identity

    (This is third in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.) I was utterly delighted at how many panels and discussions touched on questions of identity and codependence. I mean “identity” here as a self-discovery and self-listening process, rather than the external application of labels. I’m early yet in my own exploration of codependence and the unhealthy behaviors I’ve harbored for many years. One of the things I’m focusing on is (re)discovering my own life patterns and identity. It’s a large component in why I moved into my own apartment. When I saw a 5-7 adult family (with kids!) at APW, my first thought was, “Holy fuck, how…

  • On Life and Love

    APW 2013: Degendering

    (This is second in a series of posts about Atlanta Poly Weekend 2013.) Puck: Hi, I’m Puck. Me: I’m Melissa. Puck: What’s your preferred pronoun? Me: Um? “She.” Puck: Mine’s “they.” I’ve never been asked my preferred pronoun before.