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Corollary
I discovered the identity of the gas-passer mentioned in my last post. Turns out he’s the guy I randomly picked to email this quarter whenever I missed class and needed to get the homework. There’s about a 1 in 25 chance of that, and I just got so lucky. Honestly, guy. It’s rude enough to fart in public, and it’s worse when your farts actually stink. *gagging sounds* Hey, maybe I should email him. “Dear Mr. Hobo… Stop being a nasty fucker!”
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Two things not to do.
Don’t yank on your balls during a formal presentation. That’s just nasty. Don’t fart in class. Every day. In multiple 10-second-long bursts. There are no words to express how fucking disgusting that is.
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Magic in my hands.
“Do you feel the magic in my hands when I touch and rub you the right way…?” Johnny Gill, “Rub You the Right Way”. I know it’s a good day when I: Have just so little sleep that everything is funny. I mean everything. Spend five solid minutes in lab laughing at my partner’s reaction to Oranges and Lemons’ “Soramimi Cake”. I almost pissed my pants. (Hey, then we could have collected it and analyzed un-moldy urine!) Give a loud-ass whoop of joy in the middle of the hallway when my lab partner and I were told we could just throw away the plastic bottles (formerly containing urine) that we’d…
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Happy birthday, WO!
Happy birthday to him, Happy birthday to him, Happy birthday dear Greg-g-y-poo! Happy birthday to him! (This is embarrassment #3. When I no longer fear for my life, I shall write about embarrassments #1 and #2.)
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Snooze
It’s that time of the quarter. The time when my alarm clock seems to mysteriously fail at critical times, when I can’t remember if I even turned the damn thing on before I stumbled into bed, and when I feel a need to set at least two alarms and hide one of them, just in case I’m sleepwalking. This morning was the second morning in the past seven days that I’ve overslept when I needed to be up and working on something or meeting someone. I don’t feel as tired as I recall being last year, but I’ve had enough emotional and physical problems and breakdowns over the last few…