• On Life and Love

    “Big chop”

    I did it. I cut off all my hair. All of it. It’s pretty butch, no lie, but honestly, I love it. It’s so easy–I couldn’t get closer to “wash ‘n’ go” without shaving bald (and that’s higher maintenance in frequency of cutting). WO did all of the cutting for me, and the poor guy winced as he cut off each plait. He was so attached to those things. By the time we got down to the clippers, though, he was good. Right now, I don’t plan to let it grow out. I’m liking it short, and I’m not much for wearing a fuller afro.

  • On Life and Love

    Am I still the same?

    As an underclassman in high school, whenever people were insulting or cruel to me, I would spend a decent amount of energy devising a perfect cutting revenge. Something short and usually based upon very personal, embarrassing/shameful details they’d told me. I’d wait until they’d forgotten about their transgression (not long, for 15-year olds), then remind them casually and right in public of their dog-fucking habits or of the collection of child rape porn they were hiding on their parents’ computer. I developed a nice style, I think. Pleasantly inquisitive, smiling all the while. I don’t do that so much any more. I never figured out why people still confided in…

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    Strange duality

    When I was a kid, I was always plagued with questions about my hair. Conversations in elementary school tended to run something like this: Girl: Why do you always wear you hair in little pigtails? You should wear it down. Me: But my hair’s too thick. Girl: (scoff) My hair’s thick, too, and I wear it down. And look at Chelsea over there. She’s black and she wears her hair down. Me: But your hair’s thinner than mine and Chelsea’s hair is 3 inches long and looks like she stuck her finger in an electric socket. My daddy says straightening your hair like that [with a hot comb] isn’t healthy.…

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    And so I cut my hair.

    So I mentioned a while back that I had decided to go natural–that I wasn’t going to perm (straighten) my hair any longer. I thought about cutting all my hair off ans starting fresh, but I backed off of that idea initially, although the urge never went away totally. Now I’ve got a few inches of unpermed hair and I’ve been trimming at the permed ends steadily. Sunday I plaited up my hair like I used to wear in high school and enjoyed that for a few days. I wanted to take ’em out this afternoon, and I had this driving urge to cut my hair. Not trim, not clip,…

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    Centering

    I’ve recently taken up meditation as a way to keep myself on track. There are several places in my day where it’s very easy to fit in meditation–first thing in the morning, between morning and afternoon classes, and after working out/before starting evening homework. Meditation, of course, is known for enlightening one about oneself. Despite the fact that I’m not meditating specifically for introspection, I’ve learned… a few things.