Tag Archives: Growing into myself

On hair.

A big issue in my mind the past couple of months has been what I’m going to do with my [tag]hair[/tag]. One thought is to cut it off. Off, like hers. I’m not much into ‘fros, but I could wear it that kind of short.

Another thought is locks. It’s not one I’m terribly partial to, since it seems like a decent amount of work. Plus, I’d have to cut my hair off twice if I decided I didn’t like ’em.

The third idea is to just quietly go natural and change the style of my hair. This break, I took a break not only from schoolwork and email, but from my usual severe hairstyle.

Too many of me

Not extremely different than the look of old, but much more comfortable and loose. Fewer ponytail holders and rubber bands. I could wear that with natural (unpermed) hair.

This brings up so many issues, though. I mean, we’ve seen very recently that black women are still very much judged by their hair. If it’s not something that is “conventional”, like a nice, neat ponytail, or tidy plaits/braids, people will balk and label you “wild”, “ghetto”, “unkempt”, “disrespectful”, or just “tacky”.

It seems like it takes much less “mess” for a black person’s hair to be labeled “messy” than that of any other race.

I don’t subscribe to that. I don’t want to support that with my own actions.

I don’t know that I’ll initially find my hair very manageable when it’s natural. I’ll find out as it grows in unpermed. But I think I’ll go ahead and fight with it. It is, after all, the hair I was born with, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Nothing I should have to tie down and chemically process to make acceptable.

That sounds obvious (and it is), but it’s about time I acted on that.

The question remains, though: should I cut off all my hair and keep it short? I don’t know. I have trouble imagining what my face would look like with short hair.

(BTW, I’m not worried about having a mix of permed/natural hair–regular trims will work that off, and I like having longer hair.)

[tags]natural hair, black hair, cynthia mckinney[/tags]

Self-identity and identity blogging

In the past couple of days, I’ve been asked what the deal is with all the porn/sex-related links here on this site. I find this a little silly, since the proportion isn’t much different than for technology, race, and news/political links I post, but I suppose sex is always an eye-grabber.

But this brings up the general (and recently renewed) foci of this site. Along with the recent color and style change, there’s been a small change that may have been unnoticed by casual visitors and Bloglines users. This, formerly my little “about” blurb on the right:

Lissa: Runner. Rose-Hulman junior. Weight-lifter. Music-lover. Computer scientist. Minor chemist. Avid reader.

has been changed to what is now:

Rose-Hulman student. Computer scientist. Woman. Small-time chemist. Bisexual. Runner. Avid reader. Weight-lifter. Black. Curmudgeonly. Music-lover. Editor of a college newspaper. Lover of WO.

I don’t necessarily bring this up in order to jump on the “identity blogging” wagon (which I’m not sure I can even clearly define), but I do bring it up to demonstrate some of the things that interest me, and that, hence, I’ll be blogging about (“Everyday Thoughts”, after all). I am interested in issues of sexuality, sex, and pornography. I am interested in weight issues and athleticism. I am interested in issues of race. I am interested in issues with mainstream media and the press. I am interested in computer and technology issues. I am interested in books. I am interested in my life with WO and my relations with other people. I am interested in intelligence. I like being curmudgeonly.

These are relevant issues in my life, so I will read about these. I will write about these.

I want to inspire and foster conversation on what could be challenging issues, especially some that I am continuing to research and form thoughts about.

If the topics are too weird or offensive for people to enjoy, then friend or foe, I won’t be offended if you stop reading. That said, selective reading likely won’t hurt anyone either.

I want to move away from entries where the sole purpose is to bemoan or take glee in my current, transient emotional state. (I know I’m crossposting on LiveJournal, but let’s break some stereotypes here.) No, life ain’t always great, but I’m not sure that I want to document every speed bump in my life. In the long run, I probably won’t remember the three nights of shitty sleep I’ve had this week, but I probably will remember the issue of the equality of “girls” and “guys”. Or the issue of calling women “sluts” and “whores” in pornography.

Renewed foci (or focuses, if you prefer). Love it or hate it.

*stumble*

It is always distressing to me when someone calls me attractive. It upsets the flow of my day and sends my mind reeling trying to cope with what that means.

*laugh* How much meaning is there behind, “You’re hot”? Unsurprisingly, I can come up with a lot of potential meanings ranging from insulting to embarrassing to flattering.

I suppose that in my mind, I am still the acne-covered, bitchy, unfit and unshapely high schooler that I was a mere couple of years ago. I know that I’ve changed, but I see the changes as being primarily internal and not noticeable to those that don’t pay close attention to that sort of thing.

Cho knows how to do it

Because I don’t care about food, it is there when I want it, I don’t crave it and want it and think about it. Since I can have everything, nothing is that important. I don’t need to eat a whole cake because I can eat a whole cake every day every meal if I want and I don’t care. I don’t prepare to eat because I might be hungry later and ‘they’ won’t have what I have to eat. When I am hungry, I eat. You know, that is what the weird diet is. Margaret Cho’s “Fuck It Diet

Continue reading Cho knows how to do it

First ever frat party… eh.

WO and I decided to go to Theta Xi’s Winefest this weekend. Winefest is a bring-your-own sort of celebration, well-timed for the end of the quarter.

The Theta Xis… Well, they’re a special fraternity. They’re probably one of the most diverse/oddball frats on campus, and they’re small in numbers, largely due to an… incident back in the 1970s that took them from hero to zero at Rose-Hulman. WO hangs around a decent number of the guys (as do I now), so it seemed like a not-so-bad idea to check out their famed Winefest shindig. After all, if it wasn’t to our liking, we’d just leave. We certainly weren’t going to drink; I was driving and we were both too tired.

…Things were wild. It felt like half the people smoked, and all but about 5 people were shit-faced drunk. WO and I waited until the basement floor cleared a bit and did some dancing, but that lasted until I got a headache from all the jumping and twirling and head-banging (about three songs). Good fun.

Wandering around after the Dirty Dancing scene we reenacted, WO and I found the party to mostly be a bunch of people drinking, puking, doing shit I don’t care to know about, or waiting in a queue to get into the bathroom. I did however, have the pleasure of meeting one of WO’s ex-lady friends.

Jed was there, courtesy of being a Theta Xi. He wasn’t having much fun and looked about to kill some fuckers for being dumb. WO and I each chased him down and hugged him, then whisked him away from the party for a relaxing time at the downtown coffee joint. Much more fun; I got to learn a few details about Jed’s background that shed selective light on certain demeanors and behaviors.

Regardless of my general disconnect with the party, it was good to see my old roommate, sexy-sexy former-Rose student Mike S., to be hugged by an intoxicated and shameless Tookie (I know he’s got a website around here somewhere… *searches*), and to be felt up by the questionably-homosexual P.

Oh, and I learned that my favorite hobo is/was a Theta Xi. They just don’t associate with him on account of creepiness.