Since I’ve already established myself as an insecure sexist, it’s time I banish my reputation as hard-working and committed. Our chapter of the National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE, pronounced “nez-bee”) held nominations for officer positions Tuesday evening. I’d already told our president that I wasn’t going up for my current position again, and that I may not even stay as a general member next year (although I most likely will). So anyway, Ms. Prez is going through the positions and describing the duties, taking nominations after each description. I’m dozing during the descriptions and waking up in time to see the eager-beaver freshmen dish out nominations for themselves while…

Actually, it’s more like, “Hear me wail.” One of my places of employment is training potential new hires. This isn’t a bad thing, by any means, because we are a tiny staff and we need all the help we can get to help things run more smoothly. There are two problems. The first is a small one: I like working alone. I can focus or chit-chat with Mr. “He’s fond of you” or do homework without bumping elbows with anyone. I am unbelievably easily distracted and flustered by people, and I hate when people are in my way, but when I’m alone I can channel everything into doing all the…

Mae and I got stopped for carrying more than one piece of fruit out of our goddamn cafeteria. What the hell is that mess? I swear, they’re going to have to stop me every damn time, and they’re going to have to pull the book on me about this, because I surely do not pay $1000 a term for breakfast and dinner and one or two salads on weekends. Heffa, please. They lost my love when they couldn’t accomodate me during the sack lunch mess. In other news, I attended a showing of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” last night here at Rose, which was awesomely entertaining. It was…

Barring other problems, I’m going to Notre Dame this summer, y’all. If you’re too scared to swing, don’t step up to the plate, right? Now I just have to work on not missing. I felt miserable about my decision, which is a bad sign. So I enlisted the help of Mr. “He’s fond of you” to compose the eViL e-mail reneging since, according to him, “Men can rationalize anything.”

I want to turn them down, but I don’t know how because I don’t have any other reason other than, “I don’t wanna!”. *whimper* “Them” being the awe-inspiring, prestigious group of scientists that want me to work with them this summer and want to give me money. Lots of money. I want to say no. But I want to say yes, too. But I don’t know that I have the skillset. And I don’t know that the leading scientist has the patience to put up with a lack of expertise while I struggle to learn. It could be stressful. I’m a wimp. I don’t want to be stressed during my…