It dawned on me that for many of us, our lives contain these wrong people who we continue to try to please (but won’t ever) and these fixer-upper situations that just continue to spring leaks as we scramble to patch them. And the point is that the fixer uppers won’t ever be fixed. Some fixer-uppers of course just need a little paint and the odd ant trap. Others are an emotional money pit. The hard part is knowing the difference. (From Krista’s November 3 posting.)
Read the whole thing. The whole damn thing.
Then think about your life. How many times does this type of situation occur? How many times do I work and work harder to make friends with someone who resists seeing me as an equal? How many times do others do the same to me?
Sometimes it manifests as extreme neediness or a demanding nature. Someone always seeming to need something. They walk into a room and immediately demand attention, assistance, and time, without even bothering to ask how your day went. It’s perceived as a sense of entitlement, sometimes. Quite frankly, they can consider themselves entitled to kiss my ass after too much of that.
Sorry, that was tacky.
But how do you know when to cut ties, when you’ve got an “emotional money pit” developing? I mean, I don’t want to go around losing potentially good friends left and right because they demand something of me or piss me off. That’s just dumb. But how much is too much? How much stress and drain should one put up with?
I see two people that I know in a situation where my “emotional money pit” flag is going off. Those involved don’t seem to be able to tell the difference and continue bitching about one another loudly, but I keep my mouth shut because it’s not my situation. It is highly frustrating, though, even for me as a sideliner, and the stress of listening and the stress of everything else in my life makes me want to speak out at (in)appropriate times.
But aside from all of that, this idea is compelling in and of itself: “You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. You can’t say the right thing to the wrong person.”