Oh, and about those snakes

So this morning I was up and on campus at 03:00 to get laptops into position for the freshmen to receive. My much-esteem boss, the Munchkin, however, did a very, very silly thing.

He gave us two-way radios.


With Travis on the crew, the Munchkin shoulda known better. All morning, Travis chattered on the line, sang us karaoke… got stuck in an elevator.

The highlight of the morning came about 06:00, when our boss’s boss, WANS, came in. He’s standing there, getting a status update from the Munchkin, when Travis, from wherever the hell he was on campus at that point, hits his transmit button and says:

I’m tired of these muthafuckin’ snakes on my muthafuckin’ plane!

The Munchkin frantically transmitted that he shouldn’t use sort of language anymore (< -- anymore?!) while WANS just sort of stood there, tight-eyed with being in at 06:00 and stony-faced at Travis's outburst. He just left and went back to his office. I was so tired by that point I couldn't even wait until WANS was gone to burst into laughter. I wanted to lay out in the floor and scream (which I did, once I got away from WANS). In fact, I'm still laughing about it, twelve hours later. Travis delivered that line so much better than S. L. Jackson did. I still can't help but laugh at the memory.

Well, there were snakes.

And it did take place on a plane.

Other than that, Snakes on a Plane had didn’t have any redeeming qualities. Samuel L. Jackson is doing the same tired stuff he’s been doing for that past few years–playing in roles that make him out to be a badass because he can get away with it. He was too long in the tooth for the role and it showed–his movements were stiff and aged. The acting was terrible. The writing was awful. The delivery of those lines was flat. It was shocking and gross just to be shocking and gross. It wasn’t really funny. It tried to be campy in parts and just fell flat.

And the only cool snake was the one wrapped up in the lei.

Well, okay, the tasering wasn’t bad.

But the movie mos def failed to live up to all the hype (which didn’t surprise me), and wasn’t even a very good movie independent of that. If I hadn’t gone to see it on a hot date (*wink*), I would have called it a waste of money.

*mutter*All the man had to do was deliver one line, and he couldn’t even do that…*mutter*

On U-Hauls and driving

I had enough boxes and containers to form a single layer on the bottom of a 10 foot U-Haul truck. The furniture I took home (nightstands, a would-be coffee table, and a bookshelf) laid on top. Too much stuff. I need to throw away a lot more.

Driving the U-Haul was amazing. I almost sideswiped two cars before I learned about the little mirrors that let me see right next to the truck. But the truck handled like a dream and had some umph. If that’s evidence of how GMC makes trucks, I’m impressed. The 12-ish miles per gallon was for the birds, though. Luckily, it only took one tank of gas, because just getting the truck was expensive enough.

After driving well over three thousand miles in the last two weeks, I have no idea how truck drivers manage their work. If I ever signed up for a driving job, my spine–the entire damned spine, maybe even a few of my ribs, and mos def my damn knee–would just leave my body, crawl into my bed, and would refuse to get up.

Hell, that’s what I should have done this morning instead of going to work.