taking joy in human unreason

2004 September


I am unbelievably livid right now.

I spent a couple hours earlier today moving Mae out of her room in my residence hall to another room across campus. I don’t feel comfortable spilling all the details of roommate nightmare Mae has been going through this past three weeks, but suffice it to say that I was already glad I didn’t run into her former roommate.

I refrained from sending criticism when the decision was made to displace Mae because I couldn’t find a way to word it such that I would come across more hard-hitting than “bitching, complaining, subjective friend.”

This, however, is her roommate’s response to Mae’s departure.

In fact, let me quote:

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Lookit the timestamp on this post. Lookit.

I’m going to bed. haha. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA!

Feeling just a bit betrayed. But is it really that serious?

No, it’s not. But I’m taking a break from my regularly scheduled schedule to ponder the issue.

This past week, Bob had a photography project. He was supposed to photograph a full spectrum of the social interactions of some group, and he chose the Thorn. Since I was in the office so often this week because of the hours I was keeping, he wanted me to be the victim subject of some of the photos.

I don’t like being on the wrong end of a camera. I am not a photogenic girl. I am not pretty or sexy. I don’t bother with make-up primarily because I feel that painting this mug isn’t going to do me much good. I do not dress well. Any attractiveness I may have is most likely solely derived from my sheer force of personality or my silliness. My mother has only been able to get one or two pictures of me since I hit middle school, including those damned school pictures they throw at you every year in school.

I let Bob take one picture of me anyway, because I most likely wouldn’t be readily identifiable. The night before, I had spent the night working DISCO problems on the whiteboard in the office, and I’d drawn one of those little faces with X’s for eyes and a dot for a mouth, and I’d added wriggles indicating my nappy, much pulled-on hair. Above it, I wrote “FUCKED”. Bob was tickled at the idea of a picture of a hunched over, stressed-out student, books everywhere with crossed-out work all over the board. So I let him take it.

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Have I mentioned how much I hate Comp Arch?

I just got thoroughly plundered on my first exam, and received a grade of 65% on a homework I spent probably four to six hours on.

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A hiccup in progress.

I’m laying out the front page, and just realized that since my story fell through and I’m avoiding putting my name on the transcribed interview, all content was produced by the co-editors-in-chief. Well, I did the News Briefs.

There’s something wrong in the way I’m running my section when no one in my section is doing the work…

In other news, I got a big “hooray” at the idea of our school’s president paying attention to us (the newspaper) all because of the “wake-[the-fuck]-up” e-mail I sent him at the end of summer. Almost makes up for the fact that this issue of the paper has so little of my creative energies put into it (such as they are normally) that it feels like crap. Dr. McKnuckleberry is going to bitch at me either way this week–one, for running the ad for the www@10 conference next to a wire story about it, or for running a non-conference wire story and completely missing talking about the event before it occurs.

At this point, he’d have to be very direct and in my face for me to care, and then I’d probably just throw a chair across the room and walk out. The only problem would be that I might not come back. That would lighten my load…

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Exploit: Zero Day “Headless Swarm” Landing December 1

So we’ve been working on Exploit: Zero Day for a couple of years now, but I haven’t talked nearly enough about it here. It’s a web-based cyberthriller puzzle game where you play as a hacktivist, uncovering and battling against oppression and exploitation.

*innocent whistle* Totally not the sort of game I’d want to make or play, no…

It’s been in closed alpha for a while, but we’re ready to offer a prelude season of paid story: “Headless Swarm”. For details on the plotline and how it relates to the continued free alpha access, check out the announcement blog post over at FPG.

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Attending a Charlottean Protest

I visited uptown Charlotte tonight, amidst the current protests and unrest after Keith Scott’s death. My friend and I had a few tidbits of info on where people were meeting, but nothing concrete, so we wandered along several streets.

In areas where people weren’t protesting, businesses were closed, and the streets were unusually silent for 20:30 on a Friday night. Troops stood in clumps of three on corners, waving or saying hello when you passed them. The occasional humvee or police SUV drove by.

Things were more lively at the Omni Hotel, where folks had covered the sidewalk in chalk. There were lots of media there: it was clearly an “allowed”, acceptable, media-consumable gathering. I’d maybe characterize it as a space for quieter expression of grief, although it was criticized by another gathering as essentially being for the white people. The writings were names of people killed and sayings that many of us are familiar with: “hands up don’t shoot”, “when will we have justice?”, etc. Religious figures were around, praying with people.

Further down Trade St., past the bus station, a group had gathered in front of some government building. My friend and I stayed there for a while. They were chanting “I am my brother’s’ keeper!” and folks were stepping up to share their perspectives. Four National Guards and a cop stood between the crowd and the building (with the aid of crowd control barriers), utterly stoic when the crowd shouted questions at them.

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Remastering “The Majesty of Colors”

Folks probably know that I make video games as part of Future Proof Games, but maybe not what we’re doing at the moment. Many, many (many) years ago, Gregory made “(I Fell in Love With) The Majesty of Colors”, a very sweet Flash game about balloons and drowning.

As the site stats geek for FPG, I can tell you “Majesty” remains pretty damned popular. (Hell, it just got linked by Buzzfeed a few days ago.) It’s an evocative game that continues to appeal to folks wanting to explore the soft feelings of a big, weird, sessile alien. Problem is, Flash is finally actually dying — no phone/tablet can run it, and some browser configurations require user action before it’ll run Flash.

So we’re bringing “Majesty” to modern devices: Android, iOS, and Windows/OSX/Linux. And holy crap, this game feels great on a phone; moving the tentacle with your finger just feels real in a way that the tiny, mouse-controlled Flash version doesn’t. I’m excited to test it on tablets.

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July 3rd 2016
Tags: On Life and Love, , No Comments

First Hair Highlights

The first time I dyed my locs.

One of the first pictures taken of my newly-dyed locs.

I did it! I’ve had locs twice now, for a total of almost five years, and each time I’ve gone, “I should be bold and dye my hair!”

But it’s very permanent, especially since my natural hair color likely needs to be lightened for color to show much. Plus, lightening hair can be damaging. Last thing I want is to have my locs falling out. I’ve literally spent years growing these things; I’m not ashamed to say I’m a little attached to them, even if I don’t name them or count them.

But finally, with the aid of recommendations from friends and family on a beautician, I got my hair did.

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Ossuary 25% Off on Steam!

Steam Summer Sale 2016 Offer

Ossuary—Future Proof’s first commercial game release—is part of the Steam Summer Sale and will be 25% off until July 4. If you haven’t had a chance to play yet, it’s only $7.50 (USD). If you’re on the fence, the demo, “The Hodge-Podge Transformer,” is also on Steam.

It’s been on Steam for a year and a month now, and it’s been a fascinating experience. After watching a few Let’s Plays of Ossuary and “Hodge-Podge,” we released an update in December to improve the tutorial experience and solve some colorblindness issues.

EZD Logo Color Our current work in progress is Exploit: Zero Day, a cyberthriller where you roleplay a hacktivist by making and solving puzzles. It’s pretty cool, and our alpha players are making really friggin’ awesome puzzles and stories. If you want in, hop on the monthly mailing list and you’ll get a key in the next newsletter.

When a Nasal Polyp Isn’t a Nasal Polyp

I had a pretty gross thing happen to me today.

It started with a long, thin scope being poked into my nose — deep into my nose. They need to see where this mass in my nose was attached before they removed it.
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Questionable Decisions: Hot Yoga

I made a questionable decision this afternoon.

After coffee with a yogi friend, I was inspired to start climbing back on the yoga horse. Most yoga studios in my area only have Saturday morning classes, so I had very few options for something in the afternoon.

Whatever. I was feeling brave. I signed up for an all-levels Vinyasa hot class at a studio I’d never been to. Ninety minutes.

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