Today, my department head asked me how many modifications I was going to make to the test she’d made before I gave it to my students. The administration has been hammering us to do common assessments all year, but I’d been struggling to do PEAK-style tests — which include review questions and “skills” questions — all year. Relooping to help the kiddies and all that.
This week has been very, very rough. I’ve overslept twice (once cause me to be over an hour late; both causing me to be unprepared) and am at my wits end. These past few months have been a special kind of hell. I’ve been trying so very hard, and I think I’m failing at being a good teacher.
With a quiet sigh, I told her that I would just type up the test, but wouldn’t change anything. She smiled and confirmed that we’d checked the little box for doing common assessments. Her rogue element was under control. No crazy, progressive shenanigans this week.
I don’t think she’s realized just how done I am. My health is failing. I’m sleepwalking. Parts of my body are shutting down. My commutes are becoming dangerous due to sleep deprivation.
I’m done. I’m not going to let this kill me.
I’ll probably draft up something more interesting to post in these parts while I’m working at the hospital this weekend (yeah, the second job’s not helping, either). For now, I need to go to sleep so I can wake up when I need to in the morning.
Yesterday was the first time I had exercised in the four weeks since I started working on campus at Harding. Most things “me” had been submerged for the good of teaching.
Except that teaching’s hard. And endless.
But I don’t want to write about teaching here. It takes up enough of my life that I don’t want it to take this space, too.
All sorts of non-teaching things happened in the last month. I went to a club for the first time (dancing is so cathartic). I’ve neglected too many old friends (including one particularly unforgivable lapse).
I’ll write more when my life has more of a sense of balance — when it feels like I’m taking enough time for myself that I can invest some time here.
Learning from Dave Winer – Joel on Software —
I don’t have this problem, of course, because the only folks that comment around here are buddies on some level. That said, I think Winer is right — the most important opinions are those of people who would –in the past–have had little or no voice. Tagged as: [blogging]
YouTube – Michael Jackson-Blood On The Dance Floor —
"Blood on the Dance Floor" was MJ’s last good song, so far. I never saw this video until tonight. I rarely think MJ is sexy, but he’s workin’ it in this video. He is the king of smooth when it comes to dancing. Tagged as: [music]
Savage Love – On fat women —
"Do you know why you dismiss the girls you find attractive—girls who are not, by your dick’s definition, unattractive in the least—as "ugly, trashy girls," "thick, ugly girls," "fat, ugly, hick girls," etc.?" Tagged as: [fathate weight-issues sexuality]
Watch this. And listen to his voice. And listen to his lyrics.
A beautiful song. I think it takes him about 10 seconds to get into a pitch/rhythm I like, but those lyrics make it up for all.
Make a mess when you’re depressed
Wake without a drop of rest
Ace a test and wipe your brow
Pay your credit card somehow
His youtube page is here, and I got a big kick out of “Internet Dream“. In fact, hell, here it is, too:
Ah… Reminds me of Rose. And WO. And Ryan. And Luke. (And all of our mothers!) Damn. Clickity-click.
Some of his other pieces, alas… Not so easy on the ears. That kind of voice is hard to fit into all songs, although I admire his experimentation (and the bravery to put those on the netnet). His lyrics are pretty consistently hot, though.
Others songs of his displaying some amazing talent:
“Chocolate Rain“: his most famous so far, and I love the lines about [tag]The Bell Curve[/tag]. Sing it, brah!