On Life and Love

Beautiful Friends

Two Beautiful People
Andrea and Aundris (Lil Man), visiting and helping for the wedding.

I was sitting last night, watching Andrea play with–then struggle with–Aundris, and I realized that they are beautiful. Everyone (myself included) has had so much to say about these two people and their lives and who’s in it and who’s not, but they are beautiful and they are people.

Why haven’t we respected their sovereignty?

I don’t feel a need to invade Lil Man’s space to make him like me, or to discipline him myself. He’s three years old. He’s chatty and demanding and sometimes grumpy, just like The Rat/Ali was when she was three, and just like every adult I know is. He’s a kid and he’s a person.

Dangerously, though, he’s cute, even when he’s letting chewed pasta fall out of his mouth. Wish I’d gotten a picture of that.

My philosophy on dealing with people is changing rapidly of late, courtesy of books like Speak Peace in a World of Conflict and Bodhisattva. I’m watching T-dawg do many of the things I would have wanted to do to Andrea and Aundris a year ago–tell them what they should do, invade their emotional space, find reasons to criticize or find fault–and I’m disappointed in his behavior. Andrea and I will deal on our own terms. Aundris and I will deal on ours.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to be a good friend quickly enough, but I think I’m getting closer.