To mix things up a bit, I’ve done this post as a podcast of sorts, complete with musical intros and outros! I’m afraid I don’t giggle, really (Michael), but I do chuckle once, so for you laugh lovers, you’ll have to catch me in a better mood. Pardon my audio-lousiness. Audacity defeats me. Oh, and you’ll have to use the pop-up player or download for it to work. I dunno what’s wrong with podPress. It was a problem with acronyms/abbreviations. Hee hee… *looks around, tip-toes away*

I’m so tired of so many things right now. I know how to make things better: journal, exercise, meditate, be emotional. This will make everything from eating to exercising to living to getting things done easier, making for a happy emotional loop, generally speaking. Some things are out of control. I’m looking for the reset button, the thing to help me fully think through my thought processes and emotions. I feel stuck in so many ways, fighting with a life that needs change and a body that isn’t going along willingly. So I’m stopping. I’m doing a short fast (water/fruit juice) today and tomorrow, followed by a vegetarian diet for…

I had one half of a very difficult conversation today.  It was one I hadn’t really been looking forward to since starting therapy, but at least I had the easier half today, when it felt like many of my normal support structures are busy looking for their own support structures. I told my mother that I’d come to the conclusion (with some help) that my childhood had been abusive. She was surprised.  I gave examples.  She didn’t remember most of them. It seemed like a light clicked on for her, though, explaining my strange (to her) estrangement and deep-seated anger towards my father.  She’d been trying to figure it out…